G’night
I’m bitter. Not that it matters, not that it will do me any good. I just feel bitter. I lack words.
Have you come for me?
I don’t know what to write here. Plus there’s an irritating advertise just above this post. I think I’ll remove this blog. Bye.
Olof Noaksson @ February 8, 2010
Still here
Heavy breaths, heavy eyelids. It’s night.
I’m bored to say the least. I want to do something, make something happen, something big. Though I have been giving my (hopefully future) book some thought. I’ve already sketched it out. The whole thing. But I lack the time and effort to actually begin and finish. I actually think I’ve got something good. I just need to learn how to adequately formulate it. I’ve always wanted to become a writer I think, it’s very appealing in the sense that it’s basically one of the few creative environments I thrive in. The idea I have is a book about philosophy and it is not something that take a few years time, in fact it’s something that hopefully will take many many years (think a few decades), and even if I could do it now, it would never be published today, not hard to understand why however. I need experience to write something valid in the subject. And I think it’s good for me to lay the foundation now, even if it’s never finished nor published. At least I have a hypothesis and a good idea about how to support it. The most profound purpose of the book will be to develop my own analytical ability more than anything else. The writing, and the reasoning is all a plus.
I love this song…
Olof Noaksson @ January 31, 2010
Science of fear
Personal, Political Comments (2)
I’ve been cutting off my foot recently regarding school and other duties. Latest months have been, at least challenging. I keep sabotaging myself and I want to know why. I want the world. I want it all. I have the highest of ambitions, but I keep falling short when it comes to performances. I mean, I’m far above average without trying but, I just can’t to live up to my full potential. I’ve racked my brain, but I can not figure it out. And it consumes me. Because, if you know only one thing about me, know that I hate leaving questions unanswered(exceptions exist). I want to find the answer to everything. Solve the puzzles of the mind. Yet, I seem to failing.
Though, I have a theory why. I spend most of my time (sadly this is true) thinking (generally I do other things at the same time but I’m distracted by thoughts) about social contracts and society today. And I’ve come to realise that I’m not sure that I can take it. I mean society today is complex, it lacks a defining sense of purpose(this is unnecessary), it’s monetary, it lacks the basic sense of freedom I seek, it’s highly inflexible, chauvinistic, unjust and I grow weary of it. It’s quite sad. I have been driven by motivation right the wrong, change society. But now, I feel that it’s useless for man can never change. However this feeling is always temporary. I still want to change society, and it still makes me drool when I think about working with politics.
I still have the will. I just want to feel at peace for a while. Find out some things about myself. I’m still going to be pissed off when my teacher don’t get my point why I shouldn’t have to do tasks everyone else does. Apparently, “I already know it” is not enough. Also, don’t try “I’ve done it my brain”. I still claim that I do know it. And she still claims that I have to do it. Good night, and good luck.
Olof Noaksson @ January 30, 2010